One of the facets of our conversation this past Wednesday night was that we all have different “preferences” of communication that connect with our personality strengths.  This angle of our discussion reminded me of the Myers-Briggs assessment, a terrific tool that I use at the Clifton Corner in the form of the MMTIC, which is specialized for 2nd-12th graders.  It identifies students’ learning profile and social style, and provides effective suggestions for studying, focusing, and communicating with teachers/parents.  It’s a wonderful way to promote social growth and self-awareness.

Dr. Clifton (aka, my dad) shared a tool for understanding different styles of communicating called “The Herrmann Brain Dominance Model,” which looks like this:

Dad and I tend to land in Quadrant “C,” but I also have some very dominant tendencies in “D” as well….and it’s my personal theory that we each have at least one trait in each of the four quadrants.  For example, I’m a Problem Solver with students and tend to be an Analyzer—especially when I’m teaching critical thinking skills—and these tendencies are in Quadrant A.  In addition, I have to be a Planner, Organizational, and Administrative in my role as a small-business owner:  communication styles in Quadrant B.  However, my favorite ways to teach are through singing, imaginative lyrics, and some fun dance moves too.  You can see why I love GLEE and how I didn’t fit as an educator in a traditional school!

It’s so interesting that my dad highlighted this one tool during our conversation together, because of course it connects with Social and Emotional Intelligence and Daniel Pink’s idea of whole-brain learning!  To see the awesome resources that have developed from this tool, you can visit the Herrmann website and discover all kinds of ways to understand this innovative approach to communication, learning, and both professional/personal success.  Think this is a bunch of feel-good, warm-fuzzy hooey?  Take a look at some of Hermann International’s clients:

I’m excited to explore opportunities to incorporate this important tool of communication in sessions with my students and their families.  In the meantime, if you’d like to hear the Corner Conversation with my dad and me this week, look for it to be posted soon in Seminars, under “Clifton Coaching Calls,” on my website (www.cliftoncorner.com).

Despite increasing attention on Social & Emotional Learning, only 17% of us actually receive official training for dealing with the constant sources of stress in our ever-changing lives.  However, there is hope!  Epstein explains that there are four main ways to improve our “stress score” each day:

1) Relaxation:  yoga, meditation, breathing, prayer

2) Source-of-stress management:  reducing sources of chaos & conflict

3) Thought Management:  re-framing events with new thoughts—therapy & coaching

4) Prevention:  planning ahead with supportive systems of organization

Epstein was surprised to discover that of the strategies listed above, the most effective approach is prevention.  “Taking a deep breath or counting to 10 when you are stressed is all well and good, but you will be much happier in the long run if you can find ways to avoid the situations that make you feel stressed in the first place.”  As an educational consultant, one of the first steps in my sessions with students is to sit at the table together and assess the various demands in their complicated schedules each week.  Then we prioritize activities and assignments to make a plan for how to best address each project, paper, and presentation.  One of my clients last night asked, “I came here to send an email ?” but that one note to a teacher was the result of over twenty minutes review of his very full week midst basketball try-outs, a chemistry report, two exams, and a band performance at the NYC Marathon to recognize that scheduling an appointment after school with his math teacher before a big test might have been the best move my client could have made…

Would you like to learn more and find out your own score?  Visit the online test at http://MyStressManagementSkills.com and see what you think.  You might even take this assessment with the whole family.  While it might feel daunting to have a low score on stress management, reaching out for help takes courage and is a key move in the right direction.  Brene Brown, PhD, writes that “Believing that we truly do have the ability to create change in our lives may seem difficult, or even impossible, at first, but it is one of the most empowering steps along the path to developing resilience.”  While stress is not something we can always control, building an inner core of confidence to face life’s adversities is one of the core competencies we build every day at the Clifton Corner!

Here’s the article–I’m interested to know what you think.  Am I the only one who is uncomfortable with an antiquated assessment that has shown a bias towards children who come from homes with socio-economic advantages?

I’d also like to offer additional reading material, an article in The Atlantic.   Although it was published in 1999, this three-part exploratory piece is written by Howard Gardner, professor of human development at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. I’m obviously in the tribe of “multiple intelligence,” and find it astonishing that we accept one score from a single test as a measurement for the eclectic possibility and beauty of the human brain…

Mr. Barter immediately caught my attention with his reference to Thomas Friedman, who I’d heard on NPR live from Boston last week.  I was very impressed with Freidman’s perspective on global education, and one of my favorite quotes from the program “On Point” was, “It’s never been harder to find a job…It’s never been easier to INVENT a career” along with, “Ninety percent of jobs are not outsourced to China—they are outsourced to the past.”  This morning, Mr. Barter talked about creating a curriculum for gifted learners and piqued my interest with the fact that 50% of Speyer Legacy “scholars” receive some kind of tuition assistance.  Indeed, this and other references to our country’s destiny and a sense of democracy permeated the discussion.

There are some wonderful words that surfaced from speakers today:  creating, collaborating, conversing, committed, passion, and magic.  One parent, Mica Vanterpool, explained that at Speyer, the school “celebrates intellect and integrity” and about that time I realized the name of the school is pronounced like (in)spire.  In fact, the June 2011 newsletter, “The Legacy,” highlighted an “IN-SPEYERED EVENING,” a nice play on words.

What I learned from the initial overview from Head of School, Connie Williams-Coulianos (as documented by the U.S. Dept of Ed in 1993 in the report, National Excellence: A Case for Developing America’s Talent) is that only two pennies out of each $100 are spent on elementary and secondary education for gifted and talented children in America.  As a result, intellectually gifted students can “experience underachievement, perfectionism, procrastination, and stress.  Certain types of depression may be more common among gifted learners, and these children may even face a higher risk of suicide” (as reported by Daniel Brewer, Chief Advancement Officer: dbrewer@speyerlegacyschool.org).  Speyer Legacy is a direct response to this gap in our attention on “advanced learners” and seeks to provide:

*specifically-trained teachers who embody lifelong scholarship

*a challenging curriculum, regardless of age, in accelerated/enriched learning

*reflective, analytical skills with social/emotional development

*a global view of interdependence and participation with a “sister school’ in Kenya, Africa

*student “voice” in curriculum decisions and directions

I was impressed to see these ideals embodied in the actual classroom activities—one teacher discussed with students how the leaves they created were made with “the same materials” but that each is actually unique and different; another instructor led a thoughtful class meeting about a recent situation of bullying.  I noticed a “Class Contract” on one of the walls (a practice we taught when I was a Program Coach for Emotional Literacy with Yale University) and heard another student echo, “I’m A Work-in-Progress!” several times, almost like a mantra.  I also caught a glimpse of one of my favorite books (which I taught to 6th graders at the Professional Children’s School), Walk Two Moons, by Sharon Creech, and was touched by the unique artistic angles of self-portraits displayed above a 4th grade chalkboard.

I have to compliment The Speyer Legacy School for the outreach, enthusiasm, and professionalism modeled today, on this grey morning in October.  A prestigious school on the Upper East Side (which will not be named at this time) would not even let me in the front door to visit with an admissions person or introduce myself—an experience I will never forget.  Speyer Legacy is fueled by the vision to change the world we live in through inspiring and supporting gifted learners—and these educational visionaries believe it is advanced learners who will become our future leaders.  Perhaps my one concern I felt about Speyer Legacy is the definition of a “gifted” kid.  At my learning center, I express that part of my mission is educating students (and others) that, because the brain is built with multiple angles of intelligence, each of us is gifted.  Upon reading every word of their materials, I could not uncover more information about how “advanced learners” are identified.  Ms. Williams-Coulianos, in an interview with New York Family, explained that “We view the results of standardized tests as only one source of information to be considered in conjunction with information from other sources” but those are not yet clear to me.  As an educator who is fairly anti-IQ assessments and instead promotes SEDL (Social and Emotional Developmental Learning) and supports the Highly Sensitive Student, I applaud the effort of Speyer to “require thoughtful attention to…social/emotion development because of heightened sensitivity and vulnerability in settings where their usual cognitive profiles are misunderstood.”  Certainly, there are perhaps no words more important on an educational document than Speyer’s acknowledgement that “The life of the mind is inextricably connected with the life of the heart.”

In full-circle serendipity, I felt a jolt when returning to Brooklyn on the C-train while reading an article in the Education section of The New York Times called “School for the Gifted, and Only the Gifted.”  In it, I discovered that one of the “high-powered mothers” who helped to launch this very school (along with educational philanthropist, Dr. Kelly Posner Gerstenhaber—) is Malena Belafonte, daughter-in-law of the singer Harry Belafonte…As I got ready for this breakfast this morning, I listened to an interview on NPR about this star, who—instead of attending class—was a janitor, mopping floors like Charlie Chaplin.  Like 20% of gifted students across the nation, this young man was a Harlem high school dropout who found his way to the stage through a free ticket—and was moved by the special silence he heard in the audience.  Ironically, I’m just not sure that this Civil Rights activist or vocal artist would be identified as an “advanced learner” by an organization like Prep for Prep or a school like Speyer Legacy.  We can only hope that the vision that I glimpsed today is just the beginning of a whole new way of educating—and learning…for all.

The results can be both positive and negative.  If a student posts lewd language and profane pictures, those decisions can obviously be both hurtful and harmful.  However, colleges can also get a view of uplifting angles of your life too:  some students include scrapbooks of their mission trips and other altruistic endeavors, and Facebook is a wonderful way to share an additional “portfolio” of your involvement in a larger community of interests.  Martha Allman, Dean of Admissions at Wake Forest University, comments, “We have seen real talent [on Facebook].  You should put out the good things and show off a bit. It can be really positive.”

With this report, I’m reminded a bit of Dr. T.J. Eckleburg”s eyes in The Great Gatsby that see everything and know all as they loom over the landscape:  “But above the grey land and the spasms of bleak dust which drift endlessly over it, you perceive, after a moment, the eyes of Doctor T.J. Eckleburg. The eyes of Doctor T.J. Eckleburg are blue and gigantic—their retinas are one yard high. They look out of no face but, instead, from a pair of enormous yellow spectacles which pass over a nonexistent nose…But his eyes, dimmed a little by many paintless days under sun and rain, brood on over the solemn dumping ground.”

Certainly a picture can “say a thousand words,” and I just hope each of my students keeps this truth in mind as they create the profile they want the world to see of their life, their loves, and the development of their unique personalities….

* We become mentally exhausted from making too many decisions each day—so much so, that we often choose one of two responses by late afternoon:  a) to look for shortcuts -or- b) to do nothing.  Obviously, both options have a cost.

* This mental exhaustion, nicknamed “decision fatigue” in the article,  is actually scientifically documented by Roy F. Baumeister and has also been called “ego depletion,” in the vein of Freudian analysis.

* Apparently, according to studies, the more decisions you have to make in a day affects willpower—and people who are taxed mentally then give in to more physical temptations (like food) or give up more readily on cognitive obstacles, like solving challenging math problems.

* Psychologists have named this process of mental taxation as “The Rubicon Model of Action,” after a river that divided Italy in Ancient Rome.  They identify two stages of decision making:  the “pre-decision phase,” when all the consequences and benefits are weighed and the “post-decisional phase,” when we accept that “the die is cast.”  However, studies indicate that it’s crossing the Rubicon “river of decisions” that is harder than being on either “shore.”

* Humans are afraid to give up options that come with making final decisions, and Tierney reminds the reader that both words  “decide” and “homicide” come from the Latin root of “caedere,” which translates as “to cut down” or “to kill.”  (Maybe this is why some individuals have a difficult time moving from the dating phase to a commitment!)

* The poor are especially affected by decision fatigue, because balancing a budget in the midst of making multiple choices is especially draining, both mentally and physically.  In fact, scientists accidentally discovered that glucose is needed to re-establish willpower—and without it, we are much less capable to physiologically control our impulses.  When sugar is given to the body, the brain is able to regain self-control….which is why people who diet are in a special predicament!  To summarize:  when low on glucose, the brain “responds more strongly to immediate rewards and pays less attention to long-term prospects” (37).

* Experiments done in over 10,000 case studies at the University of Wurzburg indicate that humans spend an average of three to four hours a day resisting various forms of desire—from urges to eat, sleep, check Facebook, spend money, have sex, or watch TV.  That’s why, by the end of the day, we’re more likely to make poor decisions:  we’re low on glucose and we’re “high” on decision fatigue.

* Individuals who are more successful with willpower tend to be the ones who structure their lives with already-created support systems built on pre-planned decisions, so that they can then rely on willpower for unforeseen emergencies:  “Even the wisest people won’t make good choices when they’re not rested and their glucose is low,” reports Baumeister.

My recommendations when it comes to kids?  Understand that an after-school snack may be one of the most important tools you can provide when it comes to making the decisions required to complete homework.  In addition, don’t ask children to offer their best ideas at the end of the day….like you, they’ve navigated through a myriad of decisions and need time to recharge.  Finally, only ask your family to have a meeting involving important choices when you have narrowed the options to three main decisions and have provided your crew with a nutritious breakfast!

GAME*MAKER:  a workshop for students ages 14-18 yrs with interests in game design and mobile technology sponsored by the National Science Foundation–from Sept 29th-Oct 29th, 4-6pm on Thursdays and 12-2pm on Saturdays at the Eyebeam Art + Technology Center–540 W 21st Street.   Just $25 for all ten sessions, but reservation required:  Contact Ingrid Erickson at lerick@gmail.com.

ART UNDERGROUND:  Every artist has a story.   Join MoMA Teens at 4pm on the first and third Fridays of the month, from October-April, for documentary and fictional films about artists’ lives, with activities that range from studio workshops to discussions with filmmakers–open to 120 kids from 14-19 years, with student ID.  Email teenprograms@moma.org for more info.

ART OF THE GRAPHIC NOVEL:  A Free Event for Teens (Ages 11-18) on Saturday, Oct 1st, 2011 from 2:00-3:30pm, featuring Gareth Hinds, author and illustrator of his graphic novel, The Odyssey–hosted in the new graphic novel collection at the Nolen Library of the Met.  Questions and registration?  Email nolen.library@metmuseum.org.

TEEN PROGRAMS AT THE MUSEUM FOR AFRICAN ART:   Mobile Storytelling Teaching Intern, Teen Digital Advisory Committee at the Brooklyn Museum, Youth Ambassadors Internship Program–all details to be determined.  Contact Dan’etta Jimenez, Youth Programs Coordinator at #718.784.7700, ext 126 or email djimenez@africanart.org

AFTER SCHOOL TEEN PROGRAM at the Children’s Museum of the Arts:   Classes instructed by professional teaching artists on M-Th.  Check out a variety of opportunities to learn new techniques in Sculpture, Japanese Art, Puppetry for Theater & TV, Radio Show Podcasting, Screen Printing/Jewelry/Costume Design, Photoshop, Sound Studio, Fashion, & Filmmaking!  Fall Semester from Oct 3-Dec 16, Fee $500.  Visit www.cmany.org for more info.

TEEN ART LABS & AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAM at the Rubin Museum of Art:  Free opportunities to discuss art critically with professional artists on Mondays and Thursdays from 4-6:30pm.  Apply online at rmanyc.org/teens by 10/1.

NYC TEEN DESIGN FAIR:  Meet Tim Gunn and top designers from all fields on Tuesday, Oct 18th from 4:00-6:30pm.  The event is free but space is  limited and registration is required:  http://cooperhewitt.org/education/youth-programs !

TEEN PHOTO CONTEST–NEW YORK STORIES:  The Education Dept invites high school students to submit original photographs which document the people, places, and stories that represent and distinguish their communities, both inside and out of NYC.  For additional info, visit www.The JewishMuseum.org/EdContests.  Entries must be received by Friday, Jan 20th, 2012.

HIGH SCHOOL VIDEO WORKSHOP:  Free–Ten Sessions, Thursdays beginning Oct 27th from 4:30-6:30pm.  Contact teenprograms@thejm.org

HIGH SCHOOL FILM FESTIVAL:  December 6th, 8th, & 9th from 10am-1pm.  Students view award-winning documentaries that examine issues such as identity, culture, and tolerance.  Each day is FREE with post-film discussions and a pizza lunch!  Visit TheJewishMuseum.org for more info.

ART SLAMS:  Friday nights packed with art-making exclusively for young artists from 13-15, from 6:30-8pm, for just $5.  Check out cmany.org at 103 Charlton Street, NYC–special Halloween program on Oct 28th with vintage-inspired scary movie posters, costume design, and the 1931 film of Frankenstein!

PORTFOLIO REDEFINED–For High School Students Preparing an Art & Design Portfolio for College Admission:  Saturday, Oct 1st at the Museum of Arts and Design, 2 Columbus Circle, 9:30am-4pm.  Free to attend!  Register at www.portfolioredefined.eventbrite.com.

COMICS, ZINES, AND THE LIVES OF TEENS:  With cartoonists and writers Jessica Abel and Dash Shaw on Friday, Oct 14th from 4-6pm at The Whitney Museum of American Art, 945 Madison Avenue & 75th St.   The event is free but pre-registration is required at youthinsights@whitney.org.

FALL PHOTO CLASSES at the  International Center of Photography:  Black-and-White, Color Film, and Teen Academy Imagemakers for grades 9-12.  Visit www.icp.org for more info.

Here’s to all kinds of  art–please spread the good word to our young people–thank you!!

“It’s not that I’m so smart,
it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
~Albert Einstein

The Road of Little Miss Sunshine

As a teenager, it sometimes feels like adults are overly interested in the inner workings of your brain. You seem so ignorant, like you have so much left to discover. One of the many successes of Little Miss Sunshine comes from the character Dwayne, the disgruntled teenager of the dysfunctional family. In a typical family, the final prize to be won is the love and respect of the teenager. Dwayne’s family is an awkward amalgam of people he can’t stand: his wannabe beauty queen half sister, his “winning” stepdad, his loud not-grandfather, his suicidal uncle, and his mother, who is seemingly on the verge of a panic attack. Little Miss Sunshine represents one of the many permutations of family—a financially crippled group of people related by blood and marriage who try to prevent the splintering of their relationship. Although they don’t know it consciously, the family achieves their own brand of harmony at last when Dwayne falls in line with the rest of them, and acknowledges that he cares. This family makes the film instantly classic and completely endearing, and Dwayne helps this with his teenagerly snideness and eventual acceptance of his family.

There are three pivotal scenes for Dwayne in this film which outline his journey: his grudging acceptance to go to Olive’s pageant (for which the film is named), his reluctant return to his family after his dreams of flying have been crushed, and his enthusiastic defense of his half-sister while she lives out her dream. In the first scene, Dwayne’s mother bribes him to come along in the van to the competition by giving him permission for flight school. This line is just on of those perfect metaphors that irrevocably sticks in your mind. Dwayne literally wants to fly, so he can leave the ground where his family lives and be free. It is also the perfect teenage dream: Dwayne is focused only on his flying goal, so he is unreceptive to any communication from his family, which is why he is such a relatable character. His focus cuts him off, but he is like other teenagers in his refusal to accept his family’s guidance and care.

Dwayne’s first real paradigm shift comes whe he finds that he can’t go to flight school because it leads him to his family. Because he is colorblind, a fact found by Olive, Frank informs him that he would not be allowed to be a pilot. His vow of silence breaks when a long “fuck” rips from his throat in a heartbreaking scream, and suddenly he is even more relatable than we knew before. He yells at his mother and demands to be left alone—there will never be more typical teenage behavior. When Olive tries to comfort Dwayne, he begins to realize that family is all he has right now, since he sees no way for his dreams to be fulfilled. This is another important message of the film: when all is said and done, we have family to fall back on.

The movie’s culminating triumph comes when the family connects and come together to support Olive. Had Dwayne not gone through a major character upet, he would not have gone on stage to dance so exuberantly with Olive. Although Dwayne was the last to accept the importance of family, he seems no less devoted. A huge part of the American dream is winning over the teenager, because he (or she) is a terribly detached personality. Dwayne’s tranformation is all the more heartwarming because he was a great representation of the American teenager with his silent snarkiness and hatred of all things related to being a teenager. His journey was entwined with the film’s journey, because the family was at its happiest (on stage at the Little Miss Sunshine pageant) when Dwayne felt most content with them and his situation.

Dwayne is a big part of why Little Miss Sunshine is so fantastic and heartwarming. A brilliant choice in writing was his silence: it is so easy to veer into exaggerated discontent when writing a teenager, but that problem wasn’t present. When Dwayne did speak, Paul Dano acted very well as a teenage boy with little else to do but accept his crazy family for who they are. Every character loses his or her personal goal at one point and accepts this same fact like when Richard loses the book deal, or Frank sees his love with his enemy, so Dwayne, being the last, basically represents the movie as a whole. Dwayne is the long and winding road to happiness, and his acceptance allows the clan to have their own particular version of family peace.

The ICF defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”  This is the process that I provide for my students and client families every day–-and it’s an incredible journey.

As the new school year begins in less than a month, I invite you to consider if you’d like your child to explore more of his or her untapped potential….It can feel daunting if you’re charting the path alone, but as a professional coach, I am upholding these ICF standards: