Posted by Sandra Clifton on Feb 21, 2012 in
Academic Coaching Here is a reflection from a 4th grader I coached this year.
In order to honor the authenticity of this piece, I have not made any grammatical corrections:
“You should go to the Clifton Corner because you can learn many things. You can learn many things for example how to draw a non-vilont picture. And how to be nicer because I was telling people to go away when they were trying to help me. And how to put my hand on the paper because It would slip away when I didn’t know that. I also learnd how to pay attention in class because I wassent paying attention before. I also learned how to read better because I used to be spaceing out. As you can see, I leared many things from the Clifton Corner and Sandra Clifton!”
I’m a little behind posting the last Cornerstone of the year from December, but as Valentine’s Day approaches, I want to share it here as a Love Note to My Students…Every February in Lawson, Missouri, I taught Romeo & Juliet, and always ended the unit by asking, “What would have happened in this story if Romeo had waited JUST ONE MINUTE?”
Your story is just beginning….
Stand…and Swing–!
This is the latest edition of the Cornerstone I’ve ever written, but in the midst of trying to compose my column in the “11th Hour,” I’ve realized that it’s actually quite timely, as that’s exactly what I want to talk about as we end 2011…Because of all the events that occurred this past year—midst earthquakes and Irene and economic struggles—there is a story of “
The Little Team That Could–At the Very Last Minute“…..I know it must seem strange in the depths of winter to be talking about baseball, but this past fall,
the St. Louis Cardinals offered one of the strongest examples of fortitude and faith I’ve ever seen….My dad grew up in a tiny town in Missouri called Crystal City, and I’ve been a Cards fan by default since I was a little girl. Whether we lived in Ohio or North Carolina, Indiana or Upstate New York, my dad would turn on the radio in our station wagon and the scratchy static of the announcer would reach us with the crack of a bat hitting a ball in some stadium far away. My dad would tilt his head and ask: “Do you know what that sound is?” I’d dutifully answer, “Yes, Dad.” And he’d chant, “That’s the sound of the St. Louis Cardinals—the greatest team in baseball.”I’d smile and agree—it was better than losing my ride!But last summer, my dad was down n’ out about our home team. We met at Ocean Isle, NC, for a week at the beach, and each morning when I got up, Dad would make coffee while I checked scores on my Blackberry. I guess some people follow stocks—but my dad’s lifetime investment is this team, and I learned that we were “behind” by twelve games….a deadly deficit.
Any hope of making the playoffs was just a forgotten dream. But this is right where I wanted our team. All week I’d chant to my dad, “This is actually great! We don’t want the Cards to peak in August—we want them to hit their zenith in October!” He’d look at me like I was a girl who didn’t understand the intricacy of sports.And I don’t, really….but somehow, the St. Louis Cardinals did come back. Not with a roar, exactly (although Albert Pujols is a force of nature—) but with a steady focus on each next swing…I won’t detail the string of stats along the way, but what I will say is that
no one—not even my dedicated dad—quite believed the St. Louis Cardinals could win the World Series after such a losing season. Yet each game was like an answered prayer as the Cardinals somehow squeaked by to stay standing in September. And then they serendipitously ended up in the playoffs….and miraculously kept swinging into Game 6 of the World Series.If you follow baseball at all, you will know that something happened on October 28th, 2011, that will be remembered in sports forever. At the bottom of the 9th with two outs, David Freese hit a triple to tie the game—! But then we faced another inevitable ending: in the 11th inning with two strikes, we were down again to our last out. Despite all their effort, in one more instant, the Texas Rangers would celebrate victory.
But a baseball player from Missouri stood at bat in the dark night and believed that what he did next could still count. Somehow, #23 erased every error from his mind and cleared his heart for the only thing he had left: one final swing.
And guess what? You know when people say, “You only need one.” It could be a college acceptance. It could be a job interview. It could be a partner. It could be a publisher. It could be a chance. Well, David Freese knew deep in his bones that he only really needed one. And it was a homerun.
A swing that changed history.
The next day, Dave Sheinin wrote, “You cannot kill the St. Louis Cardinals. If they are down to their last game, they will win it. If they are down to their last out, they will redeem it. If they are down to their last strike, you’d better paint the corner and pray.”
Why is this story important for us today? Because it just might be the 11th hour in your 11th inning. You might be down to your last out. Perhaps the “opposing team” is already chilling the champagne. The reporters could be ready to put the story to print, with your losing score on the board. Maybe even your biggest fan has left the stadium or turned off the TV. It’s just you at bat. With more one out.
But I challenge you to believe. It only takes one player, one chance, one swing….to change everything.
Like life, the 2011World Series wasn’t about a perfect season. The Cardinals lost—they lost a lot. They faced errors and injuries. They encountered critics and conflicts. But in the end, what this team did together was to stay standing when all the chips were down and claim, “This one is mine. I still see possibility. I will face the darkness. And I will swing—with everything.”
As we end a year of ups and downs, of sudden victories and deep disappointments—I challenge you to remember this story about baseball and belief….to renew your vision, to claim your potential, and to never ever give up.
Because You are The One: the Only One like you ever created. And I believe that you will win—if you just keep swinging.
On Wednesday evening, I shifted gears from a monthly conference call of “The Academic Edge: Inspiring Athletes to WIN in the Classroom!” Instead of expecting kids to attend more “classes” after a long day of school, I am now offering a free monthly seminar called “Clifton Coaching: Sharing the Tools of Social & Emotional Intelligence” for parents, educators and other interested professionals. This month’s theme is COMMUNICATION, such an important tool for daily happiness. To add important texture to this topic, I interviewed Rev. Thomas Clifton, my one and only father—a minister, former seminary president, and master facilitator. My dad has served in country churches, for university congregations, and in urban communities; he has worked with youth and the aged; and he’s currently “on call” for sudden emergencies that may occur in the life of a religious organization.
One of the facets of our conversation this past Wednesday night was that we all have different “preferences” of communication that connect with our personality strengths. This angle of our discussion reminded me of the Myers-Briggs assessment, a terrific tool that I use at the Clifton Corner in the form of the MMTIC, which is specialized for 2nd-12th graders. It identifies students’ learning profile and social style, and provides effective suggestions for studying, focusing, and communicating with teachers/parents. It’s a wonderful way to promote social growth and self-awareness.
Dr. Clifton (aka, my dad) shared a tool for understanding different styles of communicating called “The Herrmann Brain Dominance Model,” which looks like this:
Dad and I tend to land in Quadrant “C,” but I also have some very dominant tendencies in “D” as well….and it’s my personal theory that we each have at least one trait in each of the four quadrants. For example, I’m a Problem Solver with students and tend to be an Analyzer—especially when I’m teaching critical thinking skills—and these tendencies are in Quadrant A. In addition, I have to be a Planner, Organizational, and Administrative in my role as a small-business owner: communication styles in Quadrant B. However, my favorite ways to teach are through singing, imaginative lyrics, and some fun dance moves too. You can see why I love GLEE and how I didn’t fit as an educator in a traditional school!
It’s so interesting that my dad highlighted this one tool during our conversation together, because of course it connects with Social and Emotional Intelligence and Daniel Pink’s idea of whole-brain learning! To see the awesome resources that have developed from this tool, you can visit the Herrmann website and discover all kinds of ways to understand this innovative approach to communication, learning, and both professional/personal success. Think this is a bunch of feel-good, warm-fuzzy hooey? Take a look at some of Hermann International’s clients:
| American Express |
HBO |
Rogers Communications |
| Bank of America |
IBM |
St. John’s University |
| BB&T |
Johnson & Johnson |
Schering-Plough |
| Blue Cross Blue Shield |
JP Morgan Chase |
Shell Oil |
| BMW |
Kaiser Permanente |
Target |
| Boeing |
Limited Brands |
Telus Mobility |
| Chevron |
Microsoft |
The Clarion Group |
| Cintas |
Milliken & Company |
Tommy Hilfiger |
| Cisco |
MTV Networks |
3M |
| Coca-Cola |
National Semiconductor |
University of Pretoria, S. Africa |
| Columbia Business School |
Nortel Networks |
US Navy |
| Disney University |
North Carolina Courts |
Vanderbilt University |
| DuPont |
Novartis |
Victoria’s Secret |
| Guardian Life |
Petters Worldwide Group |
Weyerhaeuser Corporation |
| GE |
Perdue Pharma |
Wharton School of Business |
| Global Lead |
Procter and Gamble |
Xerox |
| Harris Corporation |
|
I’m excited to explore opportunities to incorporate this important tool of communication in sessions with my students and their families. In the meantime, if you’d like to hear the Corner Conversation with my dad and me this week, look for it to be posted soon in Seminars, under “Clifton Coaching Calls,” on my website (www.cliftoncorner.com).
A recent study published in Scientific American Mind reports that, “On average, people get a grade of F when it comes to managing the inevitable stress they face in their lives.” Harvard researcher Robert Epstein surveyed over 3,000 people (10-86 yrs) and discovered that the average score on basic stress management was 55.3%. Obviously, being able to balance conflicting demands in our lives is a survival skill that deserves attention from middle school through adulthood, and the ability to manage stress is a key component of social and emotional intelligence.
Despite increasing attention on Social & Emotional Learning, only 17% of us actually receive official training for dealing with the constant sources of stress in our ever-changing lives. However, there is hope! Epstein explains that there are four main ways to improve our “stress score” each day:
1) Relaxation: yoga, meditation, breathing, prayer
2) Source-of-stress management: reducing sources of chaos & conflict
3) Thought Management: re-framing events with new thoughts—therapy & coaching
4) Prevention: planning ahead with supportive systems of organization
Epstein was surprised to discover that of the strategies listed above, the most effective approach is prevention. “Taking a deep breath or counting to 10 when you are stressed is all well and good, but you will be much happier in the long run if you can find ways to avoid the situations that make you feel stressed in the first place.” As an educational consultant, one of the first steps in my sessions with students is to sit at the table together and assess the various demands in their complicated schedules each week. Then we prioritize activities and assignments to make a plan for how to best address each project, paper, and presentation. One of my clients last night asked, “I came here to send an email ?” but that one note to a teacher was the result of over twenty minutes review of his very full week midst basketball try-outs, a chemistry report, two exams, and a band performance at the NYC Marathon to recognize that scheduling an appointment after school with his math teacher before a big test might have been the best move my client could have made…
Would you like to learn more and find out your own score? Visit the online test at http://MyStressManagementSkills.com and see what you think. You might even take this assessment with the whole family. While it might feel daunting to have a low score on stress management, reaching out for help takes courage and is a key move in the right direction. Brene Brown, PhD, writes that “Believing that we truly do have the ability to create change in our lives may seem difficult, or even impossible, at first, but it is one of the most empowering steps along the path to developing resilience.” While stress is not something we can always control, building an inner core of confidence to face life’s adversities is one of the core competencies we build every day at the Clifton Corner!
Posted by Sandra Clifton on Oct 10, 2011 in
Academic Coaching,
Student Success This news just in for future college freshmen: not only are admission boards reading your application essays—they are also perusing your Facebook profile. According to Ryan Lytle’s article, “College Admissions Officials Turn to Facebook to Research Students” in today’s US News, there’s a significant increase in online research of high school seniors. In 2008, just 10% of admissions checked social media for “inside information” about applicants; now that percentage is 24%.
The results can be both positive and negative. If a student posts lewd language and profane pictures, those decisions can obviously be both hurtful and harmful. However, colleges can also get a view of uplifting angles of your life too: some students include scrapbooks of their mission trips and other altruistic endeavors, and Facebook is a wonderful way to share an additional “portfolio” of your involvement in a larger community of interests. Martha Allman, Dean of Admissions at Wake Forest University, comments, “We have seen real talent [on Facebook]. You should put out the good things and show off a bit. It can be really positive.”
With this report, I’m reminded a bit of Dr. T.J. Eckleburg”s eyes in The Great Gatsby that see everything and know all as they loom over the landscape: “But above the grey land and the spasms of bleak dust which drift endlessly over it, you perceive, after a moment, the eyes of Doctor T.J. Eckleburg. The eyes of Doctor T.J. Eckleburg are blue and gigantic—their retinas are one yard high. They look out of no face but, instead, from a pair of enormous yellow spectacles which pass over a nonexistent nose…But his eyes, dimmed a little by many paintless days under sun and rain, brood on over the solemn dumping ground.”
Certainly a picture can “say a thousand words,” and I just hope each of my students keeps this truth in mind as they create the profile they want the world to see of their life, their loves, and the development of their unique personalities….
Posted by Sandra Clifton on Oct 3, 2011 in
Academic Coaching,
Student Success My mom often sends me important articles that pertain to education, and the one I read this past weekend was fascinating: “To Choose is To Lose,” by John Tierney, published in the August 21, 2011 edition of The New York Times Magazine. I’d like to share with you some highlights and tidbits:
* We become mentally exhausted from making too many decisions each day—so much so, that we often choose one of two responses by late afternoon: a) to look for shortcuts -or- b) to do nothing. Obviously, both options have a cost.
* This mental exhaustion, nicknamed “decision fatigue” in the article, is actually scientifically documented by Roy F. Baumeister and has also been called “ego depletion,” in the vein of Freudian analysis.
* Apparently, according to studies, the more decisions you have to make in a day affects willpower—and people who are taxed mentally then give in to more physical temptations (like food) or give up more readily on cognitive obstacles, like solving challenging math problems.
* Psychologists have named this process of mental taxation as “The Rubicon Model of Action,” after a river that divided Italy in Ancient Rome. They identify two stages of decision making: the “pre-decision phase,” when all the consequences and benefits are weighed and the “post-decisional phase,” when we accept that “the die is cast.” However, studies indicate that it’s crossing the Rubicon “river of decisions” that is harder than being on either “shore.”
* Humans are afraid to give up options that come with making final decisions, and Tierney reminds the reader that both words “decide” and “homicide” come from the Latin root of “caedere,” which translates as “to cut down” or “to kill.” (Maybe this is why some individuals have a difficult time moving from the dating phase to a commitment!)
* The poor are especially affected by decision fatigue, because balancing a budget in the midst of making multiple choices is especially draining, both mentally and physically. In fact, scientists accidentally discovered that glucose is needed to re-establish willpower—and without it, we are much less capable to physiologically control our impulses. When sugar is given to the body, the brain is able to regain self-control….which is why people who diet are in a special predicament! To summarize: when low on glucose, the brain “responds more strongly to immediate rewards and pays less attention to long-term prospects” (37).
* Experiments done in over 10,000 case studies at the University of Wurzburg indicate that humans spend an average of three to four hours a day resisting various forms of desire—from urges to eat, sleep, check Facebook, spend money, have sex, or watch TV. That’s why, by the end of the day, we’re more likely to make poor decisions: we’re low on glucose and we’re “high” on decision fatigue.
* Individuals who are more successful with willpower tend to be the ones who structure their lives with already-created support systems built on pre-planned decisions, so that they can then rely on willpower for unforeseen emergencies: “Even the wisest people won’t make good choices when they’re not rested and their glucose is low,” reports Baumeister.
My recommendations when it comes to kids? Understand that an after-school snack may be one of the most important tools you can provide when it comes to making the decisions required to complete homework. In addition, don’t ask children to offer their best ideas at the end of the day….like you, they’ve navigated through a myriad of decisions and need time to recharge. Finally, only ask your family to have a meeting involving important choices when you have narrowed the options to three main decisions and have provided your crew with a nutritious breakfast!
The “WE” Project
I want to tell you an unlikely story…about a young man from a little town called Derry, in Northern Ireland. He loves singers like Frank Sinatra, Elvis, and Dean Martin–already you can probably tell that this is an ‘old soul’ who thinks outside the box…
Damian McGinty was one of 40,000 candidates chosen for a program called “The Glee Project,” with a chance to guest star on the hit TV series, GLEE. Out of thousands of talented performers, Damian was selected as one of twelve contestants to compete for a seat in Mr. Schuster’s choir of renegade musicians and high school misfits.Although each kid was special, everyone involved in “The Glee Project” fell in love with Damian–he was sweet, he was a team player, and he had a lovely sense of humor.
But no one really saw him as a contender. In over a third of the show’s episodes, this underdog from Ireland had to perform a “last chance” song as one of “the bottom three contestants,” which always meant that
one of them would be sent home. By the seventh week, Damian was even put on the cutting block, as the judges decided that he was “
NOT Called Back.” However, his best friend, Cameron, decided to back out instead, handing Damian a second chance, and saving him for another week.But most individuals believed that it was “just a matter of time” for Damian–nobody really looked at him as “a big dog.” He was the sweetheart who sang “Lean On Me” in his audition tape–a faithful friend and dependable confidant. You didn’t find Damian discussing drama on the set–his focus was staying on stage….and believing in his dream. So you know where I’m headed, right? Don’t get me wrong: this guy didn’t just “hang out” or “hang on,”
he fought hard–but with compassion and kindness and a focus on the talent in his heart. “I just want to sing and perform everyday, week in, week out–” was Damian’s theme song.Yet it was a joke on the set that Damian had weird eyebrows and abundant nose hair; a strange, sometimes unintelligible accent (complete with subtitles provided by the producers); and little to no coordination. Many times the camera would catch Damian turning in the wrong direction during dance rehearsal, causing the choreographer, Zach Woodlee, to shake his head in utter frustration. Nikki Anders, voice coach and mentor to the contestants, basically said these words to the struggling performer, “You
can’t dance, you’re
not really a great actor–and you
don’thave the best voice in the group.”
But guess who was in the Final Four?
Darling Damian.
WHY? HOW?! Each week of the series was focused on a homework assignment with a theme–individuality, believability, theatricality, tenacity…We tend to assume that the individuals best suited for the stage are the ones with the most talent. But Damian McGinty demonstrated something that shines beyond these “winning traits” with a quality called resiliency. Resiliency is a component of Social and Emotional Intelligence that’s defined as “The ability to recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune; buoyancy,” and it’s a core component of lifelong success. The producer of “The Glee Project,” Ryan Murphy, even admitted to Damian that he had been the “whipping boy” in the show. But Damian emulated this quality of resiliency by taking in criticism, growing from it, and bouncing back–getting better and brighter every single week. Midst this journey, Damian sang the Sammy Davis classic, “Gotta Be Me.” Despite all the pitfalls, Damian found a way to stay, and say:
“Whether I’m right or whether I’m wrong–
Whether I find a place in this world or never belong…
I gotta be me, I’ve gotta be me!”
Talk about resiliency. After everyone else had been eliminated and the final two contestants stood side-by-side on the stage last Sunday evening, it was
Samuel Larsen and Damian McGinty who were the last ones left…a superstar–and an underdog. As everyone held their breath, the Winner of the Glee Project was announced: Samuel. Damian immediately applauded, obviously broken-hearted for himself, yet authentically happy for his friend, saying, “I’m delighted for Samuel, obviously–it’s hard getting so close…but he deserves it.”Talk about class. But just when we thought that Damian was out of the game, the producer made a second announcement…stating that Damian was special–
so special that he too had won a spotlight on the show: seven episodes written just for this underdog with an accent from Ireland. Perhaps the critics are right: Damian can’t dance, he’s not a natural actor, and he doesn’t have the best voice of anyone else on the show. But guess what?
That’s what made him just right. It was his imperfections that actually caused everyone to fall in love with him–and it’s his resiliency that wouldn’t let his heart give up hope. Needless to say, I can’t wait to celebrate Damian’s dream-come-true on the season premiere of GLEE this fall!Now with the start of school, it’s your show. What’s your dream? Need some strength to shine? I’m here to help discover Your Inner Hero. Let’s find your spotlight. Join me at the Corner this year, and we’ll create a unique adventure for all Corner Contestants–I’m calling it “
The WE Project.”
Those with huge imperfections and big hearts are especially invited. Because I know that there is a special stage in life waiting. Just for You.
“It’s not that I’m so smart,
it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
~Albert Einstein
Posted by Sandra Clifton on Jul 30, 2011 in
Academic Coaching,
Student Success As a professional life coach, I’m certified through an organization called the International Coaching Federation (ICF), which is a non-profit established in 1995 that now has over 16,000 members who are committed to upholding the highest standards in this growing profession. I enrolled in a school accredited through ICF called the International Coaching Academy by participating in classes and training seminars for two years, in order to earn my CPC, or Certified Professional Coaching certification.
The ICF defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” This is the process that I provide for my students and client families every day–-and it’s an incredible journey.
As the new school year begins in less than a month, I invite you to consider if you’d like your child to explore more of his or her untapped potential….It can feel daunting if you’re charting the path alone, but as a professional coach, I am upholding these ICF standards:
- Asks powerful questions, and
- Uses direct communication, all of which contributes to
- Creating awareness, from which
- Actions are designed,
- Plans and goals for those actions are set, and
- Progress and accountability are measured.
- Uses direct communication, all of which contributes to
- Creating awareness, from which
- Actions are designed,
- Plans and goals for those actions are set, and
- Progress and accountability are measured.
